Humor

This made me LOL even in the nth time watching it! Steve Kardynal is effffffing brilliant! Thanks for the laughs :)

No there's nothing wrong with your tear glands, it's just that beautiful... [source]

It's the best every, not only it'll shoo away pests but it'll scare the sh*t out of everyone/everything! [source]

Jerry the pug got a little too excited here.

Next Wave media made buzz as they reported their news animated! It's animated news about Tiger Woods garnered huge hits on their website. "You have a lot of missing images, in the TV, in the news reporting," Lai said. "If this is an image generation or

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If you strive for constant vigilance the way I (and most of the readers of this blog) do then you are already aware that the Center for Disease Control has finally released recommendations on how to prepare yourself for the  zombie apocalypse.  Most of th

Conversation I had with Victor after I decided we needed to start having game night… me: I’m signing us up for sign language classes so we’ll be really good at charades on game night. Victor: First off, I don’t do “game night

Ok, so last week I made this shirt for cats to wear. I made it for cats who don’t want to wear your damn shirts. But they didn’t have any cat models at my online store so instead I used a baby but then I photo-shopped my cats face on it for my

My deliriously irreverent friend, Noa, supports my xanax addiction and has taught me everything I know about creative profanity.  I heartily recommend.  Go read her front page you will be instantly hooked and/or terribly offended.  Either way, you’r

Still working on my book (last two chapters due in a week) so once again, I have another round of random text messages and status updates that my very odd and fabulously entertaining friend (Lisa G) has sent.  I plan on paying her back with the second chu

Remember a few days ago when I was baffleded by all those people who found my blog searching for “What size shirt would a 20lb cat wear”?  Well now there are even more people finding my blog that way because I’ve created some sort of sel

Sailing Price: Chapped Lips & Wind Blown Hair If you think a sloop is a rapper, feel ketch is played with a baseball and glove and believe that yawl is a greeting in the southern American states you are likely not rubbing shoulders with the Rockefelle

Cufflinks Price: Accepting the French In the immortal words of Little Orphan Annie, “you are never fully dressed without a smile”. This whimsical idea may apply to the vast majority of pencil pushing middle managers trying to keep their head above water i

Producing Movies Price: Casting Couch and A Wallet  Most people are familiar with the phrase, “those who can, do; those who can’t, teach”. I’m not saying I agree with this adage but I am confident that my woodworking teacher’s seven fingers didn’t improve

Doormen Price: Confused By Push Signs If you are like me you grew up in a city where people learned how to do things for themselves. In places like Winnipeg it means knowing how to dress for sub-zero temperatures throughout the year. Native Australians ca

Suspenders Price: Chaffed Nipples  There are two types of people in the world, those that wear suspenders and those that do not. In the former group there are two types of people, rich men and everyone else. While everyone else is quite broad it includes

It's wedding season, 'caque Knoblauchs. brotate around that fire five times, hide your brother in law's shoes and watch sweaty dudes storm the DJ decks requesting soca hits of the '80s, '90s and today.Cut Indians loose in the wedding hall and it's like u

Another SILDC original production. Check it out and rate it if you can. Some dick bag gave it like one star and totally dragged our average down. Jai ho, bitches.

Last year Subhash and I were in the throes of SILDC and g-chatting about what else we could do to impress Indian girls online. Indian girls like Li'l Wayne, we surmised. Indian girls like Robin Thicke, too. Oh shit, we said to ourselves, you know what

People around the world make lunch; they take lunch breaks and they have lunch together. Only Indians, however, find the in-between gray area of "taking" lunch with friends and family.Go to an Indian relative's house in India and they'll ask you, "Have y

Least Hindu thing since the Legend of Bagger Vance.

Ever since English was invented, there’s been a swath of phrases that annoy everyone. Like that? Swath? I read books now. I asked my tiny friends on Facebook for suggestions on some of their most hated phrases.  They gave me well over 70. I’m

Right now, you probably think you’re normal. Nice. Decent. Human. Ha! Hilarious. I know you.  Beneath your cheery smile is dark nerdy evil.  And your satanic lord is Facebook.  Once you log on, you can’t resist yourself.  You stalk people. Pos

Have you ever been blocked by someone on Facebook or Twitter? Don’t answer. That was rhetorical, dopey. You’ve been blocked. There’s been a point in time where someone evaluated your contribution to their world and said: Pass. Then they

There’s a small group of words in the English language that everyone dislikes.  If the English language were a party, these words would be the guys with fake tans and Affliction t-shirts. Listening to techno. Beating up fat guys with bladder problem

It seems like everyone follows the exact same celebrities on Twitter. Ashton Kutcher, Tom Hanks, Alyssa Milano, Bronson Pinchot from TV’s Perfect Strangers. OK, not Bronson Pinchot. We live in an unjust world. But today, I’ll introduce you to

If you’re not following the World Cup, you’ve missed the hilarious drama and in-fighting of Team France. They were eliminated after they suspended players, had a strike, and well, acted like babies. Don’t worry.  I re-created the entire

Ladies, gentlemen, and social degenerates the time has come where I need to move on to another phase of my life. A phase where I concentrate on my career, my quest to find the perfect industrial strength toilet for my home, and to answer the question, “wi

Yesterday I talked about how a guy basically stole my “about me” page and started using it when posting personal ads around the Buffalo and Rochester area. Thanks to crack research done by friends, readers, relatives, and the like I have found some inform

I’ve been blogging for a pretty long time and I have had my crap ripped off more times than you can imagine. For the most part I really don’t care, I’ve lost my shit once or twice over it but 90% of the time I take care of it privately. (Mostly I let it s

Besides Smith’s blowup this weekend Sarah Silverman spoke at the ultra exclusive TED conference. (It costs 6K for a conference pass and really big name people speak at it.) Silverman did what she normally does and laid down some uncomfortable comedy inclu

This weekend was pretty awesome for comedians that got pissed off fired back against companies and other people. I’ve decided to look at each situation because they both entertained me. Both raise their own sets of questions. First there was the Kevin Smi

(There isn’t a single joke in this post, I needed to write this for myself.) A few months ago when I was seeing U2 for the first time in my life, a concert that I had been waiting to go to since I was 15, I sat there and felt zero excitement. They had a g

... because newspapers are for dog shit and bird cages.

... because newspapers are for dog shit and bird cages.

It has occurred to me that it’s likely a good thing I don’t have a special someone in my life at the moment. Because, if I did, this whole "renovating my house situation" would surely scare her away. Case in point: The garden hose situation.

When you’re single, your mind occasionally wanders back to your past relationships. Maybe this is true for everyone, but in my case it seems most relationships I’ve had inexplicably went from normal to “what the heck just happened” in a matter of minutes.

It's not everyday you're able to draw the ire of such an easy-going, laid-back, peaceful group of people.

Paris Hilton has boasted that she is "the original." Even sadder than the fact she believes her life is worth emulating is the fact people are actually trying to emulate it.

A long time ago (November 2010), Kevin bought his first home. It needed a new roof. For four plus months, he has been trying to find a fair, honest roofer willing to take his money and install said roof. With his frustration at an all-time high, he's deci

Fans of music and walking alike were devastated today after Charlie and Craig Reid, the identical Scottish twins known around the world as The Proclaimers, announced that the lyrics to "I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)", their 1993 hit song featured on the "Benny

The world is a complicated place, and in this day and age, you just can't expect a person to fall on the same political side of every issue he is confronted with.

In a radio interview Tuesday, presidential hopeful Rick Santorum said he thinks torture critic Sen. John McCain "doesn't understand how enhanced interrogation works." What do you think?

BIRMINGHAM, AL—Former D-plus student and complete fuckup Malcolm Tibbets, 28, was recently entrusted by the Transportation Security Administration with the task of searching all bags for explosive devices or other weapons that could kill passengers

SUITLAND, MD—According to alarming new figures released Monday by the U.S. Census Bureau, the nation's population of mature adults has been pushed to the brink of extinction, with only 104 grown-ups remaining in the country today. The endangered dem

The Onion News Network Special Investigative Undercover Response Team reports on whether the nation's waitresses are just being friendly.

Two things that you may not have know about “The Killer.” Sports Illustrated named him the best athlete ever to come out of Idaho, and he would have finished with over 600 career home runs easy if he hadn’t ripped up his groin stretching for a throw at fi

Here’s the next segment of SHRINK THYSELF….        Travis Waldman was recommended to me by a guy at my gym. Bill Myers. Not just any guy at my gym. Bill Myers was the guy who had the appointment after me with the personal trainer. Nice guy, Myers. A littl

Started: December 5, 2008 Draft Finished: May 11, 2011 No matter what I do or what I’m going through, it takes around two and a half years. Now, the process really begins.

Larry’s caption: “He must be watching Leno….”

Believe me, I would have loved to post the Truants rehearsal cover of this, but we never got it down to a share-able level.

By Jack O'Brien<br> Published: Thu, 19 May 2011 05:00:00<br> On the first day of this month, we learned that the disaster movie that started back in 2001 had a Hollywood ending. The good guys killed the main bad guy after a raid that

By Eric Yosomono<br> Published: Thu, 19 May 2011 05:00:00<br> Most of us are pretty bad at giving gifts. It's hard to know what people want, and making them tell you feels heartless and perfunctory. But below us there is another tier

By Simon Bower,Eddie Rodriguez<br> Published: Thu, 19 May 2011 05:00:00<br> We've all had moments when our priorities weren't quite in line, like the time you punched a kid for mispronouncing "Kenobi" or reported your babysitter to ch

By Seanbaby<br> Published: Thu, 19 May 2011 05:00:00<br> Get the Fuck Off My LawnLeningrad - Nazis vs. RussiansRorke's Drift - Zulu vs. British Alamo - Los Mexicanos vs. 'MericansTobruk - Rommel vs. AustraliaWaco - Nutbags vs. FBIDien

By Kristi Harrison<br> Published: Wed, 18 May 2011 05:00:00<br> People who doubt evolution tend to have one main argument: "If evolution is true, why do we still see monkeys running around today, all chimp-like? Where are all the monk

By Fitzgerald Smith<br> Published: Wed, 18 May 2011 05:00:00<br> [redirect=http://www.cracked.com/linkstorm/]

Hi Everyone! The bunnies just finished their re-enactment of Freaks, a classic creepy circus tale from 1932. Guest voice Mike Dougherty makes an appearance! Enjoy!